43. Gerrit loses a job but gains a future

Gerrit jumped. The knock at the door had interrupted his concentration but he welcomed it because he’d sat at the computer for far too long and was getting a headache. Competing for a job required many extra man-hours but he was determined not to let it slip through his fingers through lack of effort.
He thought it might be Roy asking more questions about rental agreements or official forms. He really quite liked Roy and it appeared that Candice hadn’t had the urge for embarrassing confessions, so their friendship was slowly building. He knew there was always a chance that the truth may one day come out but he hoped not, after all, nobody had lost anything, except perhaps a little pride, so there was no reason for them not to be friends. Actually, he admired the American for his determination to start again in a new country and try to make a go of it; he wasn’t sure he could do the same thing, even though youth was on his side.
He grabbed a beer and opened the door. It wasn’t Roy; it was Elfriede.
“Oh, hello Elfriede I thought it was someone else.”
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you dearie. Shall I go?”
“No, no. Come in. Would you like a hot drink?”
“That beer will do nicely dearie but we won’t stay long, will we Beest?”
The dog’s head peered out of the basket but Gerrit resisted the urge to stroke him; Elfriede he could tolerate, Beest was another matter. Elfriede went through to the living room. Gerrit thought she looked cleaner than usual and her clothes were obviously different; in fact, she looked years younger and he wondered whether he had overestimated her age in the first place.
“I see you’re very busy dearie, must be the new job eh?”
Gerrit was taken aback.
“How did you know about that?”
“Ah, I know lots of things, you should know that by now. Anyway, how are you dearie? You look a little pale, are you looking after yourself properly?”
Gerrit thought this was rich, coming from a woman who lived on the streets.
“I’m fine. I’m just occupied with work at the moment. I have to make an impression you see. Would you like a glass for your beer?”
Elfriede looked at him and laughed.
“Do I look like a woman who needs a glass? No dearie, the bottle’s just fine but I’ve come to talk to you about your future.”
”What do you mean? I think my future’s already laid out. I’ll either get this job and move on a bit, or I’ll not and stay where I am. Nothing lost either way really.”
“Get yourself a beer dearie and then sit down and relax; you’re making me uncomfortable standing over me like that.”
Gerrit did as he was told.
“So what is it you have to talk to me about Elfriede?”
“Well, first, you took a bit of a risk with your friends didn’t you?”
Gerrit’s jaw dropped open; she was definitely a witch and he didn’t particularly like his life being open to scrutiny but then again, look what she had done for him already.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not making judgements. What you do with your life is your business of course but you did the right thing in the end didn’t you? Love affairs are just adventures, friends can last for ever and you’re going to need your friends.”
“What do you mean?”
“This job you’re going for…I don’t think you’re going to get it dearie and what’s more, I don’t think you should.”
“Now wait a minute. Do you know for certain that I’m not going to get the job?”
“Oh no, things are never certain. You see, people have choices in their lives, whether to take this road or that but your future can be predetermined in several directions, depending on the choices you make. Do you understand?”
“Not exactly, no.”
“Well, think of it this way. What would have happened if you had chosen to stay in Florida instead of coming back to Amsterdam?”
“I don’t know. I would have got a job there I suppose.”
“And your whole future would have been altered. Why do you think you chose to return?”
“Well, it wasn’t going to work.”
“Yes and when did you realise that? What made you change your mind about Candice? She isn’t a bad person and could have added much to your life.”
“I don’t know, a sort of sixth sense I suppose.”
”Exactly, something instinctively warned you and you took another road and came back. There were futures for you either way but you chose this one and now there are other choices to make. In fact, we make those choices every day of our lives, some bad some good but eventually, we all reach our destiny and I’m here to tell you that yours doesn’t lie in an insurance company office.”
Gerrit was really confused by now and Elfriede could see it. Sometimes she cursed her lack of skills with language.
“You must think of your past Gerrit. What are the key moments that have made you what you are today? What do they tell you about what you should do in the future? I’m not going to spell it out for you because, as I said, we have to make our own choices, or else we end up fulfilling someone else’s destiny. By all means, go for this job. I know you will, because you don’t believe me, I can see it in your eyes but afterwards, successful or not, think long and hard about what you should really do with your life.”
Gerrit was overwhelmed. This woman knew so much about him, even traumatic secrets from his childhood yet he knew next to nothing about her. What right did she have coming into his life, digging up the past and encouraging his future? A selfish thought considering how she’d helped him. Why after all that, did he still want to reject her? It was irrational yet he began to become irritated, though he sensed that there was nothing but good intent behind her comments. He had always resented people who tried to control him and although there was no comparison with his father, he couldn’t help feeling that his life was being interfered with.
“I’ve said enough. I can see that you need time to think over what I’ve said. I can see you think I’m some sort of black magic woman who should probably be locked away. Well, maybe you’re right but I’ve done what I came here to do. I’ve said my piece and now I’ll go.”
“No Elfriede, I’m sorry but you must understand I’m a bit confused, shocked even. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling knowing that a stranger knows so much about your life.”
“Oh I’m not a stranger dearie, far from it. Anyway, got to go, Beest needs his walk. Bye for now.”
Before he could gather his wits and stop her, she was gone, the door slamming behind her and in the silence that followed, he wondered if he had dreamed the whole thing. He felt guilty that she must have read his thoughts and determined that the next time he saw her, he would put things right and show her his appreciation for what she’d already done.
Sitting down in front of his computer and the endless customer files that were challenging his endurance, the impact of what she’d said began to dissipate and he decided that the work had to be done anyway. He wanted this promotion, he really did and he was damned if he was going to let Leontine win just because of the ramblings of some old tramp, however much she’d become a part of his life.

He’d worked at home until the early hours and felt extremely pleased with himself. He was sure he’d gained some advantage on Leontine by finishing all his paperwork so soon and as soon as he got to the office, he made certain that it was all safely installed on the computer hard disc. With a bit of luck and a few successful phone calls, he’d be able to take his results to Nelleke Knol and receive the plaudits he felt he deserved.
It was during one of these phone calls to a client in Rotterdam that his optimism was shattered. The client had gone off to search out some files and to pass the time, Gerrit decided to look at his e-mail. Although strictly, the firm frowned on employees using the e-mail for their own purposes, Gerrit had given his work address to several friends and knew that everybody else did exactly the same. There’d been memos warning of the consequences but they were widely ignored and Gerrit knew they didn’t have the software that enabled observation of workers’ computer usage, so he felt safe. There were two letters in, the first from a colleague in another office and the second from Funny Girl. He opened it, thinking it was from an ex girlfriend who used that nickname.
‘Oh God, another sex site,’ he thought as the first sentences promised free pornographic videos and then he turned away to talk to the client who had returned. It was only when he heard shouting and swearing from other parts of the room and the corridors that he turned to see what was wrong. His screen had gone black and the word ‘Suckers’ was flashing, accusingly at him in a lurid crimson. There was a noise like a police siren and then everything went dead. Gerrit’s heart shot into his mouth. Had he caused this? Had he allowed a virus into his computer and then of course, across the network? He feared that that was exactly what had happened.
The next few days were hectic for everyone. So much had been wiped from the hard discs and the back up systems. All his hard work was gone but as he was at fault, he hardly dared complain, although he did his best to make it seem that it was as much a surprise to him as to everyone else. Experts were called in and he asked one of them if the information could be recovered.
“No chance! This system’s totally fried. Some idiot let a virus in and it wiped the network. Don’t worry, we’ll find out at which station it came in and how. That much we can do but unless stuff is on back up CD Roms, there’s no chance of getting it back. This is a lethal bug.”
From that point on, Gerrit knew it was only a matter of time before the finger pointed at him. Promotion was definitely out; the only question was whether he could hold on to his job. The answer to that came a week later, when he was summoned to Nelleke Knol’s office. On his way, he passed Leontine.
“Good luck Gerrit, you’re going to need it!”
He wanted to wipe the smirk off her face but it confirmed his worst fears.
After she had wiped the floor with him verbally and told him that his services would no longer be required, Ms Knol paused before delivering the final blow.
“Oh yes Gerrit, you should know that our lawyers are looking into the possibility of a prosecution. You have cost us a great deal of money. Once you’ve collected your belongings and left, I’m sure you’ll be hearing further from us.”
The middle finger he flourished in her face gave him little satisfaction especially as she added,
“Oh, by the way, I’m sure you’ll be the first to congratulate Leontine on her promotion.”
The icy glare left him feeling doubly humiliated and head down, he headed back to his desk.
It wasn’t until two days later that he allowed a worried Roy into the flat.
“My God guy, you look like shit!”
“Thanks, I feel like shit.”
Much later, the story told and his misery lightened by several beers, Gerrit asked Roy what he should do.
“Well, I reckon if you give me a few weeks I might be able to wangle you a job in my company but would you want that? My feeling is that Elfriede may be right. You should take your time and find something that really suits you. I don’t know why but I trust her implicitly. She has powers that one; no idea how or what but she’s definitely spooky and she was right about your not getting the job.”
“She told me I had to look into my past to find where my future lies. At least I think that’s what she said, she didn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
“Well, maybe she has a point. What is it that you know more about than anyone else?”
“I haven’t a clue. All I’m good at is figures and computing; well, maybe not so hot at that anymore.”
“No, think harder. Why would Elfriede tell you to look into your past? What did she have direct influence on? Come on, think.”
It suddenly came to Gerrit.
“Oh, you mean the incest business? I don’t think I want to get into that again.”
“Nobody understands it better than you.”
Gerrit thought about it. Maybe he was right, maybe he did know about something else apart from accounting and insurance.
“What? You think I might be able to do something connected with that?”
“I don’t know how the Dutch social services work but I’m sure there’s a need for people to help. You know, victim support, that sort of thing.”
Gerrit began to feel hopeful for the first time for days.
“Yes, you’re right. I’d probably have to retrain or something like that but yes, it’s a possibility. I’m going to look into it tomorrow.”
”That’s the spirit. Good for you. You see, the batty old woman was right after all. Talking of which maybe you can help me out here. I got this note through the door. It’s addressed to me but includes you and Candice too. You’d better read it.”
Gerrit took the note and read it.
‘Dear Roy and Candice and Gerrit too, (if you would be so kind as to pass the message on?) It’s Koninginnedag next week; that’s the Queen’s birthday to you and I’m setting up my stall in the Berenstraat as part of the Vrijmarkt, which is a sort of free-for-all market where people can sell all their old junk on the streets for one day. The trouble is, as you know, I don’t have many things to sell and I wondered if you could donate something old that you don’t want any more? The money I raise will go to a good cause I assure you; I don’t want anything for myself. The only thing is, it must be something that means something to you, something that represents who you are. It will have so much more value that way. You really don’t need to bring it until the morning of the day itself. Hope you can help.
Love Elfriede and Beest.’
Gerrit looked at Roy and shrugged his shoulders.
“Do we have a choice?”
“I don’t think so do you?”


44. Mia finds a heart…and a purpose

Spring cleaning the shop, a visit from her tax adviser and several customers who required obscure titles which she knew she had but couldn’t lay her hands on, had conspired to make it a frantic morning and Mia was relieved to be able to sit down at the computer with a cup of coffee and a sandwich to review the shortlist of subjects for her book. It was a short list, though not for the want of trying. She had spent hours trying to find influential moments from her past, or experiences that had given her meaningful insights into human behaviour but had come to the conclusion that although she felt competent enough to write short pieces about lots of things, she didn’t have enough knowledge to write about anything in any depth and at any length. Her life had simply been too normal, too happy even. There was nothing she could draw on to inspire great literature, no tortured soul needing to express itself through the beauty and magic of words. It was very frustrating. She didn’t want to write pulp fiction, she wanted a great oeuvre through which she could leave her mark on the world. It wasn’t as though she lacked ability; she knew she could write. Her school reports and university grades had been glowing and she’d helped write for and edit the student magazine, all to critical success but this meant nothing without inspiration and however hard she tried, she couldn’t find anything that excited her enough to write about. She looked at the screen, marked the various short paragraphs she’d written as ‘tasters’ for the real thing and deleted them.
‘Oh well,’ she thought, ‘there’s plenty of time; maybe something will come to me. Anyway, you can’t force it; it has to come naturally.’
Privately, she worried that this was just another of her ‘fads’ which sounded good at the time but eventually led to nothing; much like her relationships really. Suddenly bored, she wandered to the window to see if there were any potential customers in the street. It was a typical late winter afternoon; the sun was low in the sky and glancing off the sides of the houses opposite, throwing the gables and brickwork into sharp relief. You could see every detail and it crossed her mind that it was exactly this sort of moment she should be writing about. Slightly further along the street, in the ornate doorway of an old orphanage, which had been converted into yuppie flats, she could see what looked to be a vagrant sitting on the steps. As was often the case, the form was shapeless and the body hunched up against the cold but there was something familiar about this person. She opened the door and stepped out into the street, catching her breath in the sharp late afternoon chill. She knew who it was.
“Elfriede? Is that you?”
The figure shifted position and looked up.
“It is you. What on earth are you doing out here? Come inside. Why didn’t you come and see me before? Silly woman, you’ll catch your death of cold out here. Come on.”
Elfriede rose unsteadily to her feet and came slowly towards Mia.
“Hallo dearie. I’m sorry, I’m not myself today, I didn’t realise I was in your street.”
She looked tired and Mia put her arm round her shoulder and led her inside. Once in the shop, she guided Elfriede to the chair and looked at her more closely; there was something missing, something not quite complete about the picture.
“Elfriede, where’s your basket? Where’s Beest?”
The old woman looked at her and her face crumpled.
“Oh dearie, my little boy is gone.” She sobbed quietly and Mia once more put a comforting arm around her.
“What happened? Where has he gone? Is he missing or…?”
She knew from the look on Elfriede’s face that Beest wasn’t missing.
“Oh Elfriede, I’m so, so sorry.”
“Thank you dearie. It was so unexpected you know. I was in the park and he was playing with a Schnauzer and then…”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too.” Mia could feel a lump in her throat.
She had never seen Elfriede so crushed, so frail. She’d always been painfully optimistic, whatever her circumstances and Mia admired her so much, however uncomfortable she had sometimes felt during their meetings.
“It came from nowhere you know. It was such a big dog, a Rottweiler and I could see it had evil intentions. I could see it in slow motion as it went for poor Beest. I could see it and I could do nothing about it. It snapped his neck like a twig. He wouldn’t have felt too much pain I don’t think.”
Mia hugged the woman, tears running down her own cheeks.
“The animal ambulance people were so kind, so kind and they said I wouldn’t have to pay anything. He’ll be cremated you know and I can have the ashes if I want them but what’s the point dearie? Where would I put them? Maybe I can scatter them in his favourite places but it won’t bring him back will it?”
Mia wasn’t sure what to do next.
“Will you have a cup of soup Elfriede? It’ll be ready in a jiffy. I’ll put the kettle on now.”
“So kind dearie, so kind.”
Elfriede slumped back in the chair and stared into space. Mia decided not to question her any further and leave her to her thoughts. She put the soup on the desk beside her and retreated to the back of the shop. Flicking through a magazine, she tried to work out what to do for the best. She could hardly throw Elfriede out in this state, nor did she want to. It was worrying and Mia didn’t worry about too many people but Elfriede somehow brought out a caring side in her that few others could. Any woman who could survive in this world without the trappings of comfort and company deserved Mia’s respect. She knew that she couldn’t do what Elfriede did, she liked material possessions far too much but she recognised a kindred spirit and what is more, one who was far stronger than Mia herself. After considering the options for a few minutes, she made a decision.
“Come on Elfriede, let’s go home, to my place I mean. I want you to stay with me for a little while.”
She didn’t give it a second thought. Elfriede needed her right now and to hell with all her reservations about cleanliness and other people intruding on her life. She had never felt more certain that she was doing something right and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Surprisingly, Elfriede didn’t object.
“If you’re sure it’s not too much bother dearie.”
Mia turned the sign on the door to ‘Closed’, got her coat and her tram ticket ready and then helped the old woman to her feet. They made a strange couple as they made their way down the street, arms linked and the last sunlight casting long shadows behind them.

Later that evening, after Mia had persuaded Elfriede to take a shower and allow her to wash her hair, they sat together on Mia’s new settee and talked. The washing machine containing all Elfriede’s clothes hummed away in the kitchen and Elfriede herself sat in Mia’s dressing gown, with her hair wrapped in a towel, like a turban and her rings and necklaces on a saucer in front of her. Mia couldn’t help thinking she looked like some sort of exotic Queen Mother and told her so. For the first time since they had met earlier that afternoon, Elfriede laughed.
“Oh dearie, you do me far too much honour,” but looked pleased at the compliment anyway.
“Okay Elfriede, I’ve told you everything, well almost everything, about what’s been happening in my life; it’s your turn. Are you going to carry on living like you do? I know it’s your choice but, if you’ll forgive my saying so, you’re not getting any younger and I assume the streets are not getting any kinder. Don’t you think you would be better off, safer even, in a little apartment somewhere? I could help you with all the formalities and the social services and that sort of thing. I’m worried about you.”
Elfriede patted her hand.
“You don’t need to dearie. I’ve not got long to go now, Mother nature has a way of clearing out her cupboards and I’ve been gathering dust far too long but you see there was something I had to do; call it a mission if you like and it’s not quite over yet. I’m not going to change, not now, not until I’ve achieved what I set out to do.”
Mia looked puzzled.
“What do you mean, ‘a mission’? What can you be doing when you live the life you do? No, I’m sorry, I’ll rephrase that. You don’t have any means to do things really. Oh, I’m making this sound really demeaning; perhaps you’d better explain it to me because I don’t really understand.”
Elfriede looked deeply into Mia’s eyes, so deeply that Mia began to feel uncomfortable.
“Mia…” it was the first time that Mia could remember, that Elfriede had called her by her own name. “…You have been so kind to me and I always knew that I could count on you if I was in trouble. I think you give people the wrong impression of yourself and I think you do it deliberately, as a sort of smoke screen to hide behind but I know you have a warm and giving soul. I also know you are terrified of being hurt so you don’t give yourself to people; you never take risks. Well, I’m going to ask you to take a risk for me. I need your help, very badly. I sense you are on the verge of changing your life, or at least being open to the possibility of change. You feel that you need a challenge, something to bring the best out of yourself. I’m going to give you that challenge, because I’m confident you can do it and when you have done it you will be a different person, a person who you see in the mirror and like.”
Mia sat back stunned. So much insight from a virtual stranger came as a shock and she wondered if she was so transparent to everyone.
“Elfriede, you’re talking in riddles. What sort of challenge do you mean? How can I help you?”
“Sit down Mia, please, it’s a long story.”
Elfriede had been troubled for some while about the promise she had made to the Dresi-man back in Surinam. He had taught her so much but the price had been that she had to promise to pass the information on to someone else before she died. She had almost forgotten but Valentine’s death had reminded her of her own mortality
and she felt that the success of all her plans depended on her being true to her convictions and her vows. She strongly suspected that Beest’s death had been no accident and that the forces of evil were still close by and it made her fear for her future. Not that she feared death itself but she worried that she might leave so much undone, so many promises to herself unfulfilled. The problem was that her lifestyle meant that she had no close friends. Laetitia had been a possibility but had such a busy life and besides that, was committed to Christianity. She would not have been the right person to pass the old ways on to. This left few options and although she was very reluctant to involve the people she felt responsible to and was meant to be caring for, the more she’d thought about it, the more Mia seemed to be a possibility. She was intelligent and open-minded and although the information would be of little use to her personally, Elfriede felt that if it was written in a book, her obligations regarding passing it on would have been satisfied. The fact that she wasn’t from Surinam had bothered her for a while but the advantage of that was that the facts would be written objectively and without bias. She knew from experience how her own people interpreted the old ways and it wasn’t always consistent and thus led to mistakes being made, which discredited the reputation of the healers and diminished the value. She also knew it wasn’t traditional to write these things down. Normally, they were passed on by word of mouth to a select few and learned by heart but this was Amsterdam and these were modern times, so she felt that she was justified in changing the traditions slightly. Now she had to get Mia to accept the idea.
“I’d love to! You’ve no idea how desperate I’ve been to find something I can write about that I can really get my teeth into. I hadn’t really thought about a non-fiction book but hey, why not? I’ve got so little inspiration of my own but I am well organised and should be able to do a reasonable job of presenting someone else’s facts. Are you sure you can trust me with something like this though? I mean, do you think I’ll have enough understanding; enough insight into what is really another culture?”
“I think that by the time you have heard my stories and seen how it all fits together, you will give it the respect it deserves. As I’ve already explained, this is not just mumbo jumbo and I will prove that to you. It is the accumulated knowledge of generations of healers and for me it carries a huge responsibility but I know you Mia, I know you will take it seriously, if only because it is so important to me. It doesn’t even need to be published, although if you can do that and want to do that I won’t mind. It just needs to be passed on. So I’m passing it on to you and because you are writing it down, you are passing it on also.”
Mia felt honoured and excited but also astounded that Elfriede could be so articulate and erudite. Then again, what did she really know about this woman and her past? What really appealed to her was that in the next few months, she was probably going to find out and she couldn’t wait to get to know her better. Instinctively, she felt that her own life would be enriched as a result. She also knew it wasn’t going to be easy but decided that she preferred it that way. No money would be made but she still had the shop and therefore also had the time to put in as much effort as was necessary.
“You do realise Elfriede, that we’ll have to see a lot of each other over a very long period of time but I have a tape recorder and after you’ve told me what you want, I can transcribe it in my own time. At least if we’re seeing each other every week, I can keep an eye on you and make sure you’re well because I don’t suppose you’re going to give up your life on the streets?”
“No dearie. As I said, I still have work to do and yes, I realise what a task this will be. It took me a great deal of time to learn these things when I was young but you don’t need to worry, I’ll keep our appointments religiously. I think we should start after Koninginnedag, would that be alright? I am so grateful to you, you have no idea and I hope it will go some way towards giving you some of the intellectual satisfaction you are looking for. So do we have a deal?”
“We have a deal.”
Mia reached out and the two unlikely partners shook hands and then embraced and shared their mutual relief that part of their problems had been solved.